Hope...

My mother-in-law gave me this little figurine. It is a perfect reminder of my little Max boy and the hope that we all have for him and his heart. I have the figurine in my kitchen and see it everyday.
I had a sad moment earlier this week regarding Max. We received a phone call from a close friend letting us know that they just had their baby. We of course were thrilled and excited to hear all about the weight, length and how the labor and delivery was. In that moment of happiness for our friends I could not help but feel a bit of sadness knowing that when Max is born there will be such a mix of emotion. Not only will we be filled with joy to have another baby join our family but we will also immediately have to worry. I am not even sure if I will get to hold and cuddle my little boy once he is born- there is the possibility that he will immediately be whisked away for testing. Naturally I want what is best for him and his health but an infant is so delicate and precious and it just breaks my heart to know that Max will have to struggle through procedures and testing rather then being held safely in my arms.
I know there is a reason that Max is being sent to be a part of our family. And I know that I was meant to be his mommy. Sometimes I doubt my strength in being able to care for him and being able to deal with all that surrounds a baby with significant heart problems. But in those moments of doubt I need to hold on to my hope. I can hope for the best. I can hope for strength to come from friends and family when mine is running low. I can hope that Max will be physically strong enough to endure his surgeries. I can hope that the happiness of seeing my little angel will outweigh the stress. I can hope that our prayers will be answered.
I love my Max!

Into the 3rd Trimester...

2/3 of the way down, 1/3 of the way to go!!!
I had 2 appointments this week- 1 with the cardiologist and 1 with my OB/GYN. Overall Max is doing fantastic! He is still growing at a normal rate. He is strong. He is developing just like any other baby should. I am feeling fantastic too! I do get the normal aches and pains of being pregnant but nothing that is too dramatic.
Now that Max is a little bit bigger the cardiologist was able to get a better look at the heart. Dr. King was able to get more accurate measurements and images. From what Dr. King saw there is nothing that is worse then before but there are some differences that he did not see the first time he looked at Max's heart.
Originally, we were told that both the pulmonary artery and aorta were connected to the left ventricle. This time, the doctor was able to determine that the pulmonary artery still is connected to the left ventricle and the aorta is in fact connected to the right ventricle. This is called Transposition of the Great Arteries because normally the pulmonary artery is connected to the right ventricle, not the left, and the aorta is connected to the left ventricle, not the right. Remember that Max's right ventricle is significantly smaller and considered "non-functioning." So how can his heart work if the aorta is connected to a "non-functioning" ventricle? Well let me see if I can explain...
I am a visual person so I drew some pictures to help me think through the function of the heart. Hopefully my pictures will make sense to you too. Also, a quick reminder... blue blood is low in oxygen and red blood is high in oxygen.
This is the basics of a normal heart:
Blue blood enters the heart through the Right Atrium (RA), pumps to the Right Ventricle (RV), then leaves through the Pulmonary Artery to the lungs. After filtering through the lungs the blood is now high in oxygen, or red blood. Red blood then pumps from the lungs, through the pulmonary vein to the Left Atrium (LA), pumps to the Left Ventricle (LV), and then leaves through the Aorta to the body.
Make sense? Okay now try to understand little Max's heart. It is a little more complicated...
Blue blood enters Max's heart through the Right Atrium (RA) and red blood enters Max's heart from the lungs into his Left Atrium (LA). Max has a hole between the Right and Left Atrium so the red and blue blood mixes. Also, he has a hole between the Right Ventricle and the Left Ventricle so the blood again is being mixed. That means is that both blue and red blood is being recirculated to his body so the blood flowing throughout Max is at a lower level of oxygen then it should be.
Now adding on to that is the fact that Max's Right Ventricle is "non-functioning." The only way that blood has momentum to flow out from the Aorta to his body is through the hole between the Right and Left Ventricle. Since the Right Ventricle does not work independently, the hole is actually necessary so blood can flow from the Left Ventricle, through the hole, and out the Aorta to the body.
Dr. King took very careful measurements of the hole between the Right and Left Ventricle (the technical term for the hole is VSD). Often times the holes in the heart can close up or become more narrow- we do not want that to happen. We want the hole to be as big as possible to encourage more blood flow from the Left Ventricle, to the Right Ventricle and out the Aorta. If the hole closes then there will not be a way for blood to flow out the Aorta which would cut off the blood supply to his body.
I don't know if any of that was clear. I am not a doctor and I may be inaccurate with some of my descriptions but overall the doctor said that Max is doing just as great as before. Good news!!! More specifics regarding what surgeries are needed and when those surgeries will take place will have to wait until after Max is born. There is just no accurate way to determine how Max's heart will function independent from my body at this point. We just have to keep an optomistic attitude and prepare as much as possible for whatever surgeries and healthy issues await Max. We know that it is not possible for Max's heart to magically be perfect by the time he is born but right now we are praying for the hole between his ventricles to not get smaller. We can hope for one little miracle right?

100 days to go...

According to my due date, I have 100 days until Max should be here! With Morgen I was a week late but we'll see what happens with round two.
Here is an updated belly picture (sorry it is blurry). It is hard to not complain about getting big but with Max the doctors remind me that a big tummy equals a big, healthy baby!
Morgen is super good at giving snuggles. I love this picture because his hand is resting on my tummy. He loves to pat and kiss my tummy.