My mother-in-law gave me this little figurine. It is a perfect reminder of my little Max boy and the hope that we all have for him and his heart. I have the figurine in my kitchen and see it everyday.
I had a sad moment earlier this week regarding Max. We received a phone call from a close friend letting us know that they just had their baby. We of course were thrilled and excited to hear all about the weight, length and how the labor and delivery was. In that moment of happiness for our friends I could not help but feel a bit of sadness knowing that when Max is born there will be such a mix of emotion. Not only will we be filled with joy to have another baby join our family but we will also immediately have to worry. I am not even sure if I will get to hold and cuddle my little boy once he is born- there is the possibility that he will immediately be whisked away for testing. Naturally I want what is best for him and his health but an infant is so delicate and precious and it just breaks my heart to know that Max will have to struggle through procedures and testing rather then being held safely in my arms.
I know there is a reason that Max is being sent to be a part of our family. And I know that I was meant to be his mommy. Sometimes I doubt my strength in being able to care for him and being able to deal with all that surrounds a baby with significant heart problems. But in those moments of doubt I need to hold on to my hope. I can hope for the best. I can hope for strength to come from friends and family when mine is running low. I can hope that Max will be physically strong enough to endure his surgeries. I can hope that the happiness of seeing my little angel will outweigh the stress. I can hope that our prayers will be answered.
I love my Max!
I had a sad moment earlier this week regarding Max. We received a phone call from a close friend letting us know that they just had their baby. We of course were thrilled and excited to hear all about the weight, length and how the labor and delivery was. In that moment of happiness for our friends I could not help but feel a bit of sadness knowing that when Max is born there will be such a mix of emotion. Not only will we be filled with joy to have another baby join our family but we will also immediately have to worry. I am not even sure if I will get to hold and cuddle my little boy once he is born- there is the possibility that he will immediately be whisked away for testing. Naturally I want what is best for him and his health but an infant is so delicate and precious and it just breaks my heart to know that Max will have to struggle through procedures and testing rather then being held safely in my arms.
I know there is a reason that Max is being sent to be a part of our family. And I know that I was meant to be his mommy. Sometimes I doubt my strength in being able to care for him and being able to deal with all that surrounds a baby with significant heart problems. But in those moments of doubt I need to hold on to my hope. I can hope for the best. I can hope for strength to come from friends and family when mine is running low. I can hope that Max will be physically strong enough to endure his surgeries. I can hope that the happiness of seeing my little angel will outweigh the stress. I can hope that our prayers will be answered.
I love my Max!
11 comments:
You really are amazing! That figurine is is PERFECT!!!! I love thinking of you trying to cook dinner, Spencer coming home late, Morgen on the floor crying, not feeling well because you are too big and uncomfortable to sleep at night and then just stopping to look at your little guy, take a big breath and smile~ realizing how blessed you are! I love you!!!! Less than a month till Thanksgiving!!!!
You're an inspiration!
~Chandi
Those Willow Tree figurines are so perfect--we have 4, representing marriage, pregnancy, us with our first son, and then all of us together. I've never seen that one though--really, so perfect. I know we don't really know each other that well, but I am really inspired by your comments. You remind me to be thankful and try to be a better mom.
I have the same figurine, given to me by a dear friend the month before Eliot was born and my family started falling apart. Eliot was my hope during that disastrous stretch of my life. Whenever I look at that figurine and now at Eliot, I hear the words from a hymn, "There is hope smiling brightly before us." And you have hope smiling brightly before you, too . . . in the form of Spencer, Morgen, and soon little Max. You ARE strong enough, and hope WILL see you through. Love you.
That is a beautiful statue. I have no doubt you are the perfect choice to be your little Max's mom. You are already such a wonderful mom to him and I know you will have the strength you need to care for him.
You are a wonderful mom and an amazing person. Heavenly Father will make sure you have all the strength you need.
What a wonderful reminder. That reminds me of the talk by Elder Uchtdorf about hope that he gave in our most recent general conference. A wonderful inspiration about faith and hope and that we can be strong. You are amazing!
Mary-
I have not ever met you, but I know that you will be a wonderful mother to your little Max. You already have such love for him and that is the most important thing. When our daughter was born I was able to hold her for a couple of minutes and then she was taken to the NICU right away. Later in the afternoon she was transfered to a Children's Hospital and I was not able to see her until the next day. The ride home from the hospital without a little baby is definitely hard, but knowing that she was in such good care made me feel better.
You will be able to get through this. Positive thinking and lots of faith, hope and love is what will get you through it, and it already seems as though you have all that! I know how great a guy Spencer is and can just see his positive energy carrying your family through this challenging time. You will make it and Max will be even more special for it. I think that all children are "meant" to be with their parents, but when you are the parent of a special child it really makes you feel that way. From the moment Callie was born I knew that there was a reason she was sent to us. She has changed and enriched our lives so much.
And don't worry, you will become a pro at going to doctors appointments and waiting in the ever boring waiting rooms :) It will all become second nature to you. Sorry for the long post, but Callie just celebrated her first birthday and I guess I got a little carried away :)
What I like about you so much already is your honesty and hopefulness. You rock. That little Max is getting a great Mom.
Mary, I am feeling for you! Doesn't it make you so greatful for a loving Heavenly Father and Savior? We are currently going through some major family problems and there are days when I just want to sleep to escape all the pain that is around me. You are in my thoughts often and I miss your smiling face. I am glad that Max is still growing strong!!! I look forward to seeing you at the baby shower!!!!!
I thought you might like this quote...
"It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not fortsake us. He will not forsake us.... If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will love worthy of His blessings, He will hear our prayers" (Jordan Utah South Regional Conference, Priesthood Session, 1 March 1997).
Our prayers are with you and your little max!
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