Max is off the bypass machine. I can finally feel a little relief. As far as we can tell, everything with the surgery has been going very smoothly. We are getting regular updates and the hospital has felt very calm. The thing that feels so weird is the fact that I do not know where Max is. I know he is, obviously, in the hospital and I know he is on the basement level, but I do not have any idea where on that basement level he is. He is in a room surrounded by the surgical team. I always know where my kids are. Even if I am gone and they are with a babysitter, I still know exactly where they are. Right now, I don't know where my Max is and it makes my heart ache. According to the doctors he is doing fine, but until I see him I will not KNOW that he is fine. I can sense him. I know he is close but I need to see him. I need to feel his skin. I need to kiss his head. I need to touch his toes. I need him right now. Max is the only thing that will make me feel better.
Keep fighting my Mighty Max!
1 comment:
Mary! I remember feeling this way when Cohen had his three surgeries (minor, outpatient) and Ava as well (also minor, outpatient). It was so unsettling not knowing where they were! Not to mention the details/risks of the actual surgery. The risks we faced were so small compared to what your son faces.
Thinking of you and your family, praying for success and relief. Be strong, sweet Max!
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